First draft - Poor Girl

I used to use your name as a way to curse, 

so i could ease the pain so it wouldn't hurt

I never realised what you meant to me

until I did silly things, and we let it be

Talking out my problems to everyone with ears

wiping off my makeup with instant regret and beers

knocking back vodka tequila and rum

until i couldn't see and my body was all numb

Wake up and fix me please,
pull this poor girl up off her knees
wake up and fix me please,
for i dont know where my home is

I'd get weak one day and text you on your phone

hoping you'd feel the same and that i was not alone.

it was selfish and i should not of done it

i wanted to hear i miss you even just a little bit

Talking out my problems to everyone with ears

wiping off my makeup with instant regret and beers

knocking back vodka tequila and rum

until i couldn't see and my body was all numb

Wake up and fix me please,
pull this poor girl up off her knees
wake up and fix me please,
for i dont know where my home is

You were the lyrics to my favourite song

the melody I'd hum to all night long

from morning thorough to night

when the rhythm was far from sight 

I'd look up to the sky

and wonder why

Talking out my problems to everyone with ears

wiping all my makeup with instant regret and beers

knocking back vodka tequila and rum

until i couldn't see and my body was all numb

Wake up and fix me please,
pull this poor girl up off her knees
wake up and fix me please,
for i dont know where my home is

6 capo
F
C
G
Am

What is, the best for you and me?
Will it end now or will we live happily
Choices we find ourselves making
Life going in different directions, which roads are we takiny
I found it hard to say goodbye tonight. My phone died which I hated but probably for the best.
When you have someone consistently in your life most days for the last three years. How do you tell yourself to not immediately want to text them, ask them how they are or even to say hey. Just to speak to her that day!
I guess we will know one day in the future wether this is the right choice. Right now feels right.

However I did think tonight, what if? What if you’re the one that gets away, what if i never find someone who I love as much I do you. Will I constantly try and fill a void or will I just learn early on just to avoid. You don’t need someone to be happy, but I’ve always had the dream of one day settling down, with a wife.
Will I bump into 20 years from now, hand in hand with your wife, will it still sort of break my heart that, that could of been me. How do I tell my 23 year old self now that I can deal with that. Will in time I just get used to it.

Will this change things between us forever, will we ever cross paths again apart from a big parties or meetings. If we stay in different circles it all changes. Will in 2/3 years time we both arriving at the same party with somebody new, will I look at her like i look at you. Will her smile and laugh cause my belly to erupt.

I don’t want to move on, I’m ready for me. But how ready can one be, when she moves on from me. I’m scared to watch her smile and laugh causes by someone who loves her like I do.
It’s weird I sort of feel numb, we’ve not argued and there were jokes thrown, she’s the one I love that will never be forgotten.

There for me will always be a spark, I’ll be sat at her wedding, either waiting for her to arrive at the end of the aisle or sat down watching. Either way the moment she says I do, I’ll think I love you.

Someone will come along and sweep her off her feet, treat her like the true beauty she is. Make her laugh and speak to her intellucatly. Make her feel safe and accept her. If I had my chance again, I wouldn’t sit back, I’d take it with both hands and pull her to me. Give her space and listen, waylay does she want and what does she need, not her slave but her wife to be, not under her thumb, but together with love.

Not right now is the right time and place, we need this to find ourselves. Who am I and who are you? Who am I when I’m not with you.

I love you x