I wanna go back..

I used to religiously write on my blog everyday, sometimes even more than one a day. But over time I have written on it less and less. I am not entirely sure why, my blog helped me with a lot, it helped me vent my anger and talk about my problems without the worry of being judged, because if people didn't want to read it they didn't have to. I could write for hours, day, months even if I felt that passionate about something.

For a while I convinced myself I was no longer like that, I could no longer write a substantial amount, when about two or three days all I have thought about is writing.

I am going through a lot at the moment I say that like it is all me, but it's not. People around me are going through more I am just with them on the journey. But when your not the main person on that journey of discovery, it can put a lot of strain on yourself of fear that the other person might drop.

Now I wont name names or identify faces of who different people are that are going through things at the moment, I am not the sort of person to do it. I just wish I could give them some strength and some will power to just fight for themselves, and punch life in the face.

I have spoken about the other people who are going through stuff at the moment and not about me.

So now I will quickly give you the low down.
I have kidney problems, if I knew exactly what it was I'd tell you all but I don't know, neither do the doctors. Which is a little worrying that they haven't found a cause for my constant pain.
I am going in for a little day op soon to have a look see whats wrong, and if there is anything wrong they will make things right.

I swear to write on here more often, I have missed it.

I kept my sane.
Right now I feel like I'm at my last leg of something, I can feel my body becoming worn down.