This time ill stick by it!

To anyone I saw yesterday or who was round mine, Im sorry aha and I will not be that grumpy again :)

Sort it out.

I have no reason for my life to be looking down, its the best its ever been at the moment, so why the hell am i this flipping grumpy, i hate this writing depressive shit, i just sound suicidal aha! :|

Fresh path.

So its taken me a couple of months to realise how much of a prick i was and text saying sorry, i don't know if I'm truly forgiven but were talking as friends i feel a sigh of relief, someone i can talk to that gives me there full honest opinion because there not scared of what i might say.

Becoming Routine

So everyone has down days be it once a week once a month whatever you do, but recently for me its becoming everyday, I've always had my down five minutes which I've had since the dawn of time it just brings me back to reality instead of the mind world i live in but as i was saying I'm becoming a grump everyday even around my friends which i hate doing, because when someones in a shit mood its brings the whole level of a group down. I know why I'm feeling down and its a mixture of things. but i really need to get over it, i don't know why i do it, that's just me.

Sinking.

So many people said it too me, i was like yeah yeah whatever. Only now has it sunk in.

Get a grip!

Its barely been 4 days but yet I'm missing my parents like crazy! so much that I nearly cried this evening :( <3

Too much

It seems someone in my household is feeling the big boots and has had a power trip, just wait for them to realise there not the queen bee, were all fucking equal, pull you're weight!

Si..Si..SIMPLE!

So i had work today but when i came home we sat down for our weekly family Sunday roast and giggled lots...this week we had no sweet after so me and my sister decided we would take a walk to the shop, we took a slow walk, and just brought so much munch but because we didn't wanna go home straight away we found a patch of grass, and plonked our arse down and just chilled talked ate and laughed, its safe to say its the most relaxed I've been for a while, it felt like for that hour or so every trouble in the world went away just having a talk with my sister, there is no one i love more than my family especially my siblings Kerrianne and Charlie...

My parents said goodnight today and i not realising was like night, with which my mum was like is that it your not going to see me for two weeks and right there and then i nearly broke down in tears, I'm gonna miss them so much, i can cope its just i cant explain my relationship with my parents they drive me crazy like no other but my god I'm gonna miss them!!

Understand

Leave me alone. Please!

Whynow!

I haven't felt like this in a long time and i don't know why i feel like this, but i loose hope and drive to do anything and just want to either lay in bed all day eating ice cream and crying or sleep in the bath. its my dads birthday tomorrow and i will be happy around him but i was gonna go see a friend, I'm not sure whether to go or sit in and be a miserable little fuck, it just seems like a routine at the moment i just need to wipe this slate start fresh. i wanna move out of eastbourne so bad not because of the people, i just need...Change? i wanna fend myself...i found out today some friends of mine have got in to uni and I'm so happy for them, yeah ill miss them like anybody else...lol, i wrote all that shit ^ then started to chirp up a bit, my god I'm on a fucking roller coaster right now! guess who's back, yes that will be my stalker :| these texts are making me cringe...

All growing :)

So my sister turns 21 today, ahh shes all grown up...be needing bed pans soon ;)

Starting thew new job.

Started my new job Saturday, not to bad if I'm honest, I've never worked in retail before but its hard and easy, the reasons being was for most of the day your walking around just keeping everything looking tidy and helping people but man it knackers your feet!

On the Saturday night my sister had her 21st birthday party, because i hadn't eaten all day because i was at work i had three glasses of vodka and lemonade and was gone, i awoke Sunday with the biggest hangover I've ever had, was sick at home and at work (in the staff toilets not on shop floor)

but the new job is good :)

Underage...

The festival was so good, and some of the most fun I've had in a long time, its the first time to my festival and i just had such a good time!! Thank you to laura and of course YAAKS for getting the tickets...YAAKS are a new upcoming band with a new fresh sound and man there good, go search them and listen to there stuff!!

Up and away!

I haven't blogged in a while, so here it is biatches :D
Basically i went to a recording studio on the weekend and did a couple of songs and there not to shabby :) i had so much fun, the guy called Doug was such a babe and he was just such a help, i had a few laughs but he was impressed with my voice so that's a bonus too :)

I attended an audition for a cabaret in about 12/13 weeks time, and i wasn't quite nervous, well okay i was but not too much, i did as much as i could but when i came out i weren't too impressed with myself, i thought i fucked up some of the song and completely bummed up the scales and arpeggio, but yesterday i got a call and i got through, which bought a big hype :) and i guess a lil more confidence in a way.

I also had my first driving lesson, the guy was thoroughly impressed and said "You're going to be easy to teach which is a relief," i had a two hour lesson and the first lessons consists of cockpit drill, steering and moving off and on, and i did that so quickly we moved on to the next lesson which is right and left emerges but i only did a few of them.

My mum told my sister about her surprise party...hmpf! but its cancelled and instead were just having a party at ours...the surrounding neighbours are going to hate us they already complained about my party two/three weeks ago so god helps this one because its the big 21!! I'm so excited and its not even my birthday!

I'm going to Thorpe Park tomorrow with my brother and sister...I'm actually mega mega excited!! i haven't been for a while, and plus we've never been anywhere with my brother out of eastbourne, so me and my sister are buzzing and i bet my bro is too!! :D

I'm nervous about starting my new job on Saturday... i mean what if no one likes me, what if i make a fool of myself, what I'm late...these and about 100 other things are going through my mind!

so yeah, I've missed so much out but i wont fill you in because theres a reason its private 8P

Love you Biatches. x

Too a certain extent. and blah blah blah.

Okay, someone died or something along them lines in eastbourne/shinewater today, and i guess in a way i care i mean someone died that i may have known and if i do know them i will show my respect but i don't care, not that I'm a cold hearted bitch because it is an upsetting time for anyone who was close with the person/people but right now until i know who it is, i don't wanna see every single flipping status about it get off my screen on another note i had a funny night with my girls again tonight and it really showed me how little I've been spending time with them, need to sort out my priorities and tomorrow i shall go see my best friend, because although i don't care about whats happened its shown me, that i take life a little too much for granted and need to get out there more and see the people i don't! and i guess make amends with people :|.

Countdowns.

Underage Festival -
4 Days

Studio Recording -
6 Days

First Driving Lesson -
8 Days

Thorpe Park -
10 Days

Start My New Job -
12 Days

(^ i can no longer go pride anymore :( but something else uber exciting happens in 12 days!)

Sisters 21st -
15 Days

Dads 54th -

18 Days

Mum and Dad go on holiday -

21/22 Days

Getting Dr Dre Beat headphones and a paddling pool kind of thing! -

23 Days

Sister goes out for her 21st -

24 Days

All I'm saying is bring on August! <3

Growing fond.

My love for Mumford & Sons is growing and growing everytime i hear them...So the first video on here that isnt of me

Can you lie next to her and give her your heart, your heart?
As well as your body, and can you lie next to her and confess your love, your love?

Heres my favourite song of theres at the moment...White Blank Page.

<3