Am I easy to read..

I thought I was someone who at first was easy to read but then as time went on got harder to read. Which then made girls attracted to me because they couldn't read me. I like being an unreadable person, where people don't know what I'm thinking or feeling. Sometimes yeah I like being readable it makes times easier.

My girlfriend, seems to manage to read everything, even to the point when she turned round a couple of weeks ago and said the words 'I've missed you' which would sound normal if i didn't see her everyday, so i said 'but I'm here' and then said 'yeah but i mean you've not been you, you've been sad.' So we continued to talk about it for a little while, and she said she knew i was down but didn't want to be asking me all the time what was wrong, which for made me feel so weird. She know's when I'm going to cry and whenever I am in certain moods.

The only other person that can read me like this is my mother, who turnt to me and uttered the words you're gonna cry in a minute, how did she know that everything instead of me was tearing down and failing. I said no I'm fine, I'm not gonna cry and I didn't. I've put up a barrier to my mum, I didn't want her to see me down anymore, because it hurts her to see me down. I can't see her crumble, I need to be stronger and stop feeling so shit about anything, sometimes I'm too sensitive to what people do and say.