I want I want.

I want. 

A phrase that when immediately heard I think of a spoilt little 7 or 8 year old girl telling her mummy and daddy that she wants this and that.

But the topic I am using I want for today, isn't the same, I guess you could say there is a spoilt element to it, about what I want. 

I however do not believe it is something I cannot have.. 

I want to be the reason someone cant sleep because there so excited about seeing me the next day. I want to be the background on someones phone. I want someone to go home to there friends and say this is her. I want to be the reason they wake up smiling. I want to be the reason they make an effort for dinner or lunch. I want to be the person that makes them feel comfortable enough to chill out in sweats with there hair up and no makeup. I want to be the person they can laugh and snort in front of. I want to be the reason for that smile on there face. I want to be the spoon that they cuddle up to or be cuddled by. I want to be the reason that every time they smell that smell they get butterflies. I want to be the person that they say I love you, too. I want to be the reason for the butterflies. I want to be the reason for them having no free text or calls left. I want to be the person they call first when they cry. I want to be the person holding there hand at friend or families funeral. I want to be the owner of the jumper or top they cant stop wearing. I want to be the reason they look at the stars and the moon and then realise I'm right there with them. I want to be the reason thy write a love letter. I want to be the person they cant go a single day without talking to. 

I want to be the reason they say I do. 

Today I thought a lot about marriage about finding the one and settling down. I don't mean now, I couldn't say I was ready for that, because I'm most certainly am not. Its just weird. My life partner, my soulmate is out there, hell I could of met them already, I could be friends with them. The person I am going to marry is living there life and they are smiling or crying. Regardless of that though they are a living breathing person, going through life. 

Sometimes I forget how amazing people and the world is. 

Jail of judgement.

Fat - Ugly - Boring - Uninteresting

Bitch - Slut - Tramp - Whore

Cunt - Prick - Twat - Knob

Arsehole - Queer - Dyke - Faggot 

Disgusting - Fake - Stupid - Shit

'You're a training actor, you must hear things like that all the time' - Anon

Do you think just because we put ourselves out there for the world to see that its fair to be scrutinised because we are showing people what we do, something that they enjoying sitting and watching. 

Just because I'm no Angelina Jolie or Jennifer Lawrence, what makes me different from them, you idolise them and treat them with respect. Just because they have been acknowledged by the media that they are good. 

Okay I haven't got that gorgeous body, or amazing hair. Hell my teeth aren't sparkling white and my face will sometimes all too often show people that I have a double chin.

What gives someone the right to think they can abuse you because you're not there idea of perfect. Sorry that I don't perfectly fit in your criteria, but don't mind me being rude, I don't want to. 

Acting is for the I don't care kind of people. 

Because frankly I don't care what you think. You are not me and will never see life through my eyes and I will never through your eyes.