Life is so weird.

Life is so bloody weird, that thought that everybody lives a life. 

In my families life I play a big role, as do we all within our families. 

In my friends life I play a smaller role but never the less its still a role. 

In that girl who works in Starbucks who served me a caramel latte yesterday. I play the tinniest role, but I was still a part of her day, no matter how insignificant I was.

But yet she goes home and has her own problems and her own roles. When she was making my latte, what was she thinking - about how to make the latte or about how busy it was that day or even what her plans for the evening were. 

We coexist in each others life and it completely baffles me, this was never really bought to my attention until Sophie once mentioned it. Since then I hadn't thought of it too much, until I started travelling back and fourth to London a lot. I was see so many different people on trains, that I started to realise I wanted to make a difference to peoples days. 

(I haven't told anyone this yet, but here it goes.) 

I did that thing, where you tell someone you don't know that there beautiful, or that the fragrance there wearing smells great. Something, just to make them feel special. Hell I have definitely got some funny looks from it, but the response is great. I'm not doing it for a reply, I don't want a compliment back its not about that. For me it was about making someones day different. 

The reason I started doing this, I was in London about two weeks back meeting someone in central to go watch a show, when a boy approached me and told me he'd been reading a book and that it changed his perspective on life anyway what it made him realise is that he wanted to just take risks. Unfortunately for the guy he picked the wrong girl, being gay I told him would mean although I am flattered by his gesture to want to wine and dine me, I would have to decline, hell it would of been great to get to know this guy and we did chat for approximately twenty minutes before he briefly hugged me and scuttled off. 

It made me realise though that he had faith to take a leap after he spotted me on the street, to then ask me on a date. I love that concept of just going for it and swore I would do the same. 

For me it isn't about dating but just taking that leap, I guess in some ways I am quite reserved so for me this has been so beneficial, it makes my train journeys a lot more pleasing when I have a girl or guy sitting opposite to me, I'll just start with a smile and if they respond and smile back, I'll go on to say something about them that I notice straight away be it.. a beautiful set of blue eyes, or the way they smile. 

So if there is anyone reading this that likes the idea, then do it.. I cant begin to explain how pleasing it is to here that smile in someones voice when they realise a stranger thinks beautiful. 

Hell you might even meet someone from it. 

Welcome to me.

Hello? I am Tiffany Patricia Robinson, I am nineteen years of age. I am gay (but don't want to label myself too much so I am still open to one day I might fall in love with a guy) and have a girlfriend who I love dearly. I currently attend University in London where I study a BA (Hons) Acting for Stage and Media. I constantly worry about the future instead of thinking about the here and now. I'm undecided if I am where I want to be in life. I try and surround myself with supportive and funny people, but sometimes I don't succeed, which can be hurtful and can rip a part of your spirit down. I would call myself a strong person, I think I've been through a lot to only be nineteen, but I also appreciate that sometimes my worries are nothing on someone's who has a life threading illness. I try and be positive about most things, and I like smiling. Some say I am easy to read and some say I'm impossible to read, I think if you know me well enough then everything I do is quite simple. I sometimes thrive for an easy life where everything will be handed to me, but then I understand I'd learn nothing from that.
Sometimes I can be quite absent, in my mind and body. I like to come home and just release all the anger and pity I feel and just start fresh. I like to go to Beachy Head and just scream at the top of my lungs. Just to release as much as it as I can. It makes me sound a little crazy, but if you've never done it, then go to an isolated field and just scream it will let something out sometimes that you've never realised you had.
I like to write music, but art never comes from happiness, so sometimes the anger and sadness that I feel I bottle to make something truthful in what I write. For example I recently wrote a piece called 'Woman Like You' which is about strong women. The reason for that are my role models.. Strong Women.
I like singing, singing is such a release for me also, and it had suddenly made me start to wonder that maybe I am on the wrong course, maybe I should be doing a music course, as that is most definitely something I want to be doing more than acting. But I don't want to grow a hate for it by doing all the time.