You've Changed - Yep I have, for the better.

I'm finding each day is getting easier back in Eastbourne and although I do miss the busy old streets of London, like Dorothy says, "theres no place like home."

I found it kind of tough being back at first I felt like no one wanted to see me, like my stories had become boring and that nobody knew me anymore, I found myself not taking shit from people anymore. Like I had actually grown up. I'm not going to lie to you but I thought this whole go to uni and become a grown up was a myth, I didn't feel any different just a sense of not belonging in my friends lives anymore and I just wanted to get back to the bustle of London with my new friends and to redo the last three months of boozing getting to know each other and fun. 

I came back to the place I felt was my home and where I loved where all my best friends were. But the more I thought the more I become to realise, Eastbourne isn't my home, it's just somewhere I grew up. London felt like home now, when talking about it I would often refer to it as back home. This did sadden a few friends for the sheer thought that I no longer feel this is my place of ease anymore. I feel more at ease in Kingston than I have ever felt anywhere else.

Kingston I go out looking like crap or I can go out to town in a pair of jeans converse and a jumper and be fine, I come back to eastbourne and put on the full works for the act of trying to fit in. Why am I trying to fit in to a place full of rejects, failures and no ambition.. I certainly will never not have ambition. 

I am one of the few out of my friends to actually come to university, when I was younger I watched my cousins go off and get there degrees not understanding the amount of work, effort and courage that they had for it. I now appreciate even the slight things my family, friends, teachers etc have ever done for me. 

Understanding it really is the little things in life that can make someone happiest, just telling someone you love them or miss them can bring a smile to anyone face, to know that there is someone in the world who needs them, it makes someone feel appreciated and most importantly wanted… everyone wants to be wanted no matter what they say. 

I don't even know the point of what I'm writing today. 

But I felt like writing!! 

LOVE.